ChRoNicLeS ‘v MoI

MANILA

,

Philippines

— Pinoy is what Filipinos call each other, a term of endearment. You’re Pinoy from Filipino just like you’re tisoy from mestizo or chinoy from chino.

It’s a nickname just as Minoy is from Maximo, Ninoy from Benigno, Tinay from Florentina and Kikay from Francisca. But now they’re Maxi and Ben and Tintin and Cheska.

You’ve been called

indio

, goo-goo, Negro, flip, noypits. Or Filipino, a biscuit that is brown outside and white inside, or a word stricken from the dictionary which means domestic. Ay, lintik!

You’re Juan de la Cruz or Mang Pandoy. You’re common tao, masa, urban poor but also Cecile Licad and Don Jaime, Andres Bonifacio and Lea Salonga, Shawie and Pacquiao and Nick Joaquin, galing galing.

Born June 12, 1896, the Republic of the RP is a Gemini, good at connecting, good at loving-loving, good at texting and interpersonal skills.

Filipinos like to yakap, akbay, hawak, kalong, kalabit. We sleep side by side, siping-siping, we go out kabit kabit.

There’s lots of us to go around. Someone always to listen to a sob story, even in a jeepney, to share-a-load or to share a TV.

*Everyone’s Tito, Tita*

Who has a hipag, a bayaw, a bilas, a balae, a kinakapatid? Who has an ate, dete, diche, kuya, diko? The maids call her ate, the driver calls him kuya and everybody is tito or tita.

Who has a Lola Baby, a Tito Totoy, a bosing called Sir Peewee, his wife Ma’am Lovely and their kids Cla Cla and Cring Cring?

The Pinoy lives in a condo, a mansion, an apartment, a bahay na bato, ilalim ng tulay, Luneta,

Forbes

Park

, and

Paris

too!

He’s a citizen of the world, he’s in all the villages and capitals, colonizing the West, bringing his guitar and his bagoong, his walis na tingting, his tabo, his lolo and lola.

Where there’s a beat, there’s a Pinoy. You’ll find her singing in a nightclub in

Tokyo

, a musical in

London

, the Opera House in

Sydney

. Sure, they’ve got the infrastructure, the theaters and architecture. Who but Pinoys direct their plays, or trains their company managers, and imports our teachers, by the way?

*Viagra to

Victoria

’s Secret*

Look at that baggage’s’ all pasalubong, none for herself. From bed sheet to hair color, Toblerone to carpet, Viagra to paella pan,

Victoria

’s Secret to microwave.

Hey, Joe, don’t envy me ’cause I’m brown, you’ll get ultra violet from that sun and turn red not brown.

Just lucky, I guess. God put us all in the oven, but some were uncooked and some were burned, but me, I came out golden brown!

Hey, Kristoff! Hey David and Ann! Your Pinoy yaya makes your kids gentler, more obedient, she teaches them how to pray. Hey Big Brother! Hey Grandma Moses! Who but Pinoy nurses make your sick days easier all the way?

We made the jeepney, the karaoke, the fluorescent bulb, the moon buggy. We invented People Power and crispy pata; popularized virgin coconut oil, scaled the Everest and made it with

Cebu

furniture abroad among the best. Ever trying for the Guinness World Record’s with the longest swim of a child, the longest kiss, the longest longanisa’s

*Linguist*

The Pinoy is a linguist. As in. As if. For a while. Open the light. Close the light. Paki ganyan naman ang kuwan sa ano. Tuck in. Tuck out. Don’t be high blood. If you’re ready na, I’ll pass for you.

Hayop; Hanep! Bongga ka ‘day, feel na feel kita, kilig to the bones ako.  Don’t make wala, don’t make tampo. Taralets na, babes, let’s go, nababato na ang syota mo.

I’m inviting you to my party, please RSVP. Oo means "yes" or "maybe," or "yes if you insist," or "maybe if it doesn’t rain."

"Yes" is also a nice way of saying "no." Yes, hindi kita sisiputin. "No," eto na ako at ang barkada ko. Please don’t ask a Pinoy a question like that!

*Just flows*

She’s not so exact, not so chop-chop, she just flows and flows. Filipino time? Naku, huli din naman ang

Kano

!

The Pinoy finds time to be nice, to be kind, to apologize, to be there when you’re depressed, to help you with your utang and your wedding dress.

The Filipino is a giver, never mind what it does to his liver, never mind what it takes. Hardships of the

Third World

don’t dry up his blood, they just make him more compassionate, more feeling, of the other guy’s lot.

Note that the maid sends all her wages home to ailing daddy. She is the OFW whose labor of loneliness created the original katas ng Saudi.

*’Bahala na’*

The Filipino is fearless, bahala na si Batman, which actually means Bathala na or "leave all to God." Okay lang if I die by bitay, okay lang if I live, okay lang if I survive by the skin of my teeth.

Saway ni Inay: Di ka naman Bill Gates, di ka naman French, mahirap nang magbuhat ng sarili mong bench.

Be Pinoy! Enjoy!

–Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

–"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

–Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

–Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

–Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

–Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

–Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are
method.

–A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

–Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

–Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

–Guys get jealous easily.

–Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

–Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh…nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

–Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

–Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

–Girls are guys’ weaknesses.

–Guys are very open about themselves.

–It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.

–Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

–If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

–A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

–Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

–Guys will brag about anything.

–Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

–Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

–Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.

–Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

–Try to be as straightforward as possible.

–A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be mature and grown up.

–If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

–No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

–Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

–Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

–If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

–When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

–When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

–Guys don’t really have final decisions.

–If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

–If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

–When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.

–Guys like femininity not feebleness.

–Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

–A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

–Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

–Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

–Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

–Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

–Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

–A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

–No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.

–Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

–We don’t like girls who are too skinny.

–We hate it when girls talk about there boobs.

–Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy …like wheather it’s a one time deal or not ….

–Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours…

–When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

–Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

–Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts…

–Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn’t intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that…after you let him know a couple times.

–When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

—Girls, if u don’t repost this within 1 hr then you will lose the guy of your life

—Guys if you don’t repost this in one hr then you will lose the girl of your life.

post this as: 60 Things Most Girls Don’t Know about guys,

NO ONE CARES about the ‘repost in one hour or blah blah blah’
we just wanna know if its true or not.
guys are like a fucking encyclopedia.
written in another language.
an ancient language.
that hasnt even been discovered yet.
fuucking just tell us what you’re tihnking!!!!!!!

· Ang buhay ay parang bato, it’s hard.

· Better late than pregnant.

· Behind the clouds are the other

clouds.

· It’s better to cheat than to repeat!

· Do unto others … then run!!!

· Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na

ng ibang salop.

· Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka

na sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa

lasing na bagong gising.

· When all else fails, follow

instructions.

· Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa

sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.

· To err is human, to errs is humans.

· Ang taong nagigipit … sa bumbay

kumakapit

· Pag may usok … may nag-iihaw

· Ang taong naglalakad nang

matulin … may utang.

· No guts, no glory… no ID, no entry.

· Birds of the same feather that prays

together … stays together.

· Kapag may sinuksok at walang

madukot, may nandukot.

· Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom

na tao.

· Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa

kanyang pinanggalingan …. ay may

stiff neck.

· Birds of the same feather make a

good feather duster.

· Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag

may taga, may tahi.

· Huli man daw at magaling, undertime

pa rin.

· Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na

sa appointment

· Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa

rin.

· Better late than later.

· Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira

ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo,

sa paligid puno ng linga.

· Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka

na!

· No man is an island because time is

gold.

· Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay

ginto … muta lang yan.

· Kapag ang puno mabunga … mataba

ang lupa!

· When it rains … it floods.

· Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon …

mauubusan din ng kandila.

· Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan

nasa ibabaw, minsan nasa vulcanizing

shop.

· Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan …

sapul.

· Try and try until you succeed… or

else try another.

· Ako ang nagsaing … iba ang kumain.

Diet ako eh.

· Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga

mo ay itik.

· Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka

na ng bago.

· If you can’t beat them, shoot them.

(Nalundasan)

· An apple a day is too expensive.

· An apple a day makes seven apples a

week. (really expensive)

Confusion takes over my brain.
I’m feeling a little bit insane.
What is the purpose of life?
Why do we even fight?
A hand reaches out from the grave.
Pulling me in and saying don’t be afraid.
Death has come to us all.
And no matter how hard you try,
you’re going to fall.
Falling down beneath the walls.
In the cracks you will crawl.
Trying to get away from it all.
And still you lie covered in gloom and
hatred for the world.
You try to scream but no ones there.
You are in the final stages.
A sudden pain shoots through your veins as
everything becomes clear.
You’re in a place you know not of.
You’re in a place far above.
You’re in a place were you feel no pain
and not everyone is the same,
and most of all you are in a place where
you will live in peace in God’s presence and grace.

Today is my father’s 8^th year death anniversary. I just want to lem him know that eventhough he is no longer here on earth to guide us, he’s been and will always be in my heart and in my thoughts. In life, we love you so….In death we love you more… I love you so much Papa!

ACROPHILIA

Arousal from heights

AGALMATOPHILIA

Attraction 2 statues

ANTHOLAGNIA

Arousal frm smelling flowers

ANTHROPOPHAGOLAGNIA

Rape w/ cannibalism

CHEMATISTOPHILIA

Arousal frm being charged for sex

COPROSCOPIST

Arousal frm watching a person defecate

DACRYPHILIA

Arousal frm seeing tears n d eyes of d partner

EPROCTOPHILIA

Arousal frm flatulence

KLEPTOLAGNIA

Arousal frm stealing

LAGNONECTOR

Person who kills in order to have sex w. corpse

MASCHALOPHILOUS

Arousal from armpits

MELOLAGNIA

Arousal from music

NECROPHILIA

Sex with corpses

SITOPHILIA

Arousal from food

TAPHERPHILIA

Arousal from being buried alive

Question: Why there are such words like these?

Answer: NECESSITY

* Are you over your EX?*

1. When you see him talking to other women, you:

:: SMILE TO MYSELF. THEY CAN HAVE HIM!

2. When the phone rings, your first thought to yourself is:

:: "ITS HIM! I KNEW HE’D COME BACK TO ME!" BWAHAHA! BUT NO. SORRY ONCE FELL FRM d MOUTH DONT EAT IT BACK…ITS DIRTY NA.HEHEHE

3. When you tell everyone you’re doing fine, your actually:

:: JABBING PINS INTO A VOODOO DOLL I NAMED AFTER HIM!(WICKED WITCH LAUGH)… KIDDING ASYD OF COURSE I WILL FEEL A BIT OF LOSS, BUT I KNOW ITS FOR THE BEST

4. Its a Friday night and you’re home alone watching TV. You:

:: BEMOAN MY SINGLE FATE, AND WISH ALL MY FRENZ DIDNT HAV BOYFRENDZ…JOKE! HUNKER DOWN AND ENJOY MY FAVE DVD. YEAH!

5. A guy you never noticed suddenly turns around in the hallway and asks you to the dance next weekend. Shocked, you:

:: IL SAY SURE AND HOPE MY EX CATCHES D 2 OF US SLOW-DANCING..HEHE..

6. Its your ex’s birthday, and this time you:

:: REMEMBER, BUT COULD CARE LESS.

* What kind of guy is right for you*

1. You are attracted to a guy who:

:: SNOWBOARDS OFF THE SIDE OF CLIPS, NYAHAHA!KINDA GUY INDEED…MAKES ME LAUGH.

2. Your ideal date is:

:: SUSHI AND A MOVIE.

3. Your guy’s extracurricular contribution at school would most likely be:

:: DEBATE TEAM? LOLZ! 

4. The most consistent part of your potential boyfriend’s wardrobe would have to be:

:: BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT, BASEBALL CAP/JAMAICAN BONNET HEHE, CHUCK TAYLORS/SKATER SHOES. 

5. Your dream guy drives a:

:: KARITON PULLED BY A BAKA/KALABAW! LMAO! SUV, CONVERTIBLE, HYBRID VEHICLE WIL DO. VROOM VROOOM…

6. Your ideal boyfriend would make after-hours contact by:

:: STANDING OUTSIDE  MY WINDOW…BWAHAHA!

*Are you ready for a boyfriend?*

1. When you think the word "boyfriend", you think it means:

:: MY SOCIAL LIFE IS OVER, HAHAHA!!! WELL, BF: A STEADY, DEVOTED GUY IN MY LIFE.

2. He’s all for going exclusive. You’re:

:: READY AND WILLING.

3. You love the sound of his voice, the feel of his hand in yours, but:

:: BUT NOTHING! HE’S PERFECT!

4. To you, being a good girlfriend means:

:: LETTING HIM BE HIMSELF, GETTING ALONG WITH HIS FRENZ, DEVOTE MY EVERY WAKING MINUTE TO HIS HAPPINESS. WOW!

5. Your friends think that you should:

:: I SHOULD WHAT? HMMM…BRING HIM AROUND THEM MORE OFTEN, SO WER ALL FRENZ…HEHEHE. 

6. You aren’t ready for a serious physical relationship, but:

:: iM WILLING 2 SEE WAT HAPPENS…

I had it all, but I let it slip away

Couldn’t see I treated you wrong

Now I wander around, feeling down and cold

Trying to believe that you’re gone

Love takes time

To heal when you’re hurting so much

Couldn’t see that I was blind

To let you go

I can’t escape the pain inside

‘Cuz love takes time

I don’t wanna be here

I don’t wanna be here alone

Losing my mind from this hollow in my heart

Suddenly I’m so incomplete

Lord I’m needing you now

Tell me how to stop the rain

Tears are falling down endlessly

Love takes time

To heal when you’re hurting so much

Couldn’t see that I was blind

To let you go

I can’t escape the pain inside

‘Cuz love takes time

I don’t wanna be here

I don’t wanna be here, alone

You might say that it’s over

You might say that you don’t care

You might say you don’t miss me

You don’t need me

But I know that you do

And I feel that you do inside

Love takes time

To heal when you’re hurting so much

Couldn’t see that I, I was so blind

To let you go

I can’t escape the pain inside

‘Cuz love takes time

And I don’t wanna be there

I don’t wanna be there, alone

Guess to some extent, you get used to bein aLone, get used to not Xpectin fone coLs & havin nuthin t0 do at night, dun expect t0 turn around t0 open arms any longer. The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence. Your th0ughts echo thru ur head wit no 0ne t0 share em wit…aLL in aLL, bein aLone isnt terrible, it jez hurts lik e HELL!!!!